Friends?!?? WHATTTT?

Ok...so I have a tendency to be bummed because I don't have any friends here...but I now have

SCHOOL FRIENDS!

Last semester I really didn't like a whole lot of people from school...I mean I liked them, but felt awkward and 'different' around them, like I didn't fit in I guess. I really only had 1 friend...who I still talk to sometimes, but we're not in any of the same classes, so it is very rare. Anyway, this semester my whole Abnormal Psychology class loves me! I went to sit in a different seat than normal, and the boys that normally sit in front of me and behind me said "No way, you can't move...I like talking to you!!" It made me feel...well....special...like I mattered to people here in Phoenix other than my family...now I like the class a lot better (and it doesn't hurt that I'm #3 in the class and have only taken one Psych class before...went from 101 to 266 and still rock!). I have to say, that made my day! They love me! I am sure glad too since I have to give an Honors presentation to them this semester...I was really nervous about it...until today! :) Woot...Life is good, my friends, life is good...even if you have to have a bout of time that's not so good!

A Day for Couple's Everywhere (no couple here...)

Things have been quite good lately...more or less...

Valentine's Day found me finishing the audit during the wee hours of the morning and then talking to a good friend, whom I have only actually talked to in person/met once (3 years ago) and have only been talking to again for the last 4.5 months. He is a sweetheart, and I think he has told me EVERYTHING about himself and his life. It's fun to listen to, especially since I don't get to talk to him much seeing as how he lives in JAPAN and is in the Marines...makes for conversations in the middle of the night my time and the evening his (the evening of the NEXT DAY!!! weird...). Anyway, he randomly asked me to be his Valentine, which was all right with me, and he surprised me by having someone in Phoenix deliver a dozen yellow roses to my house that morning! They were/are beautiful!

 

I went back to sleep after I got those, smiling because I was definitely not expecting anything! A few hours later I got another *loud* knock on my door. I lugged myself out of my sister's nice warm bed (my room is always terribly chilly...and really bright) and opened the door to find another beautiful set of flowers being delivered. These were white Mums from my sister! *thanks Jeni* (I got her some red tulips...now we have a garden at our house! lol)

 

I also got a letter from my BEST FRIEND who is in Canada right now (eh?). It was short, but it was exactly what I needed and wanted to hear then...crazy how missionaries can do that, huh? No...it's just the Spirit. 

All in all, I had a surprisingly wonderful Valentine's Day. ANNNNND I didn't have to work!!! It's been a few days, but I may still be hung over on the happy :)

If There Was A Day That Would Cause Me To Drink...

It would be today.

I don't like to complain or whine (though I loooove cheese, haha) because 

I generally dislike the way that people pity you and treat you differently after

they know what's got you down...they overcompensate.

Well...with that said, I'm not going to complain, I'll just say it like it is.

If I were to ever go off the deep end and drink, the last 24 hours would probably have

been the breaking point, so I guess I don't have one! (a good thing I think)...

Anyway, I was in a generally unpleasant mood (to myself) last night and had to work. 

I finally got a little peppier this morning when I was so tired that I couldn't help it.

I slept for a few hours and woke up realizing that I had lots of homework to do.

I worked on my homework and a girl from my ward called and asked if I was 

going to go to FHE tonight...since she is almost literally the only friend I have in my 

ward (and yes, I know that's my fault, I'm just shy) I decided to go since she'd be there.

I stopped my homework, showered and put on some makeup...I looked decent.

She said, I think, 4 words to me...which was introducing her friend to me.

That is all.

I decided that I felt really uncomfortable and didn't know anyone so I went and 

played piano for about an hour, which was a very welcome relief, both because

I really love to play and sing, annnnd I haven't played in literally 5.5 months. 

I then came home and made brownies and did my laundry (both are still in progress)...

Alone.

Sometimes I forget that I'm alone 95% of my time, but nights like tonight, I remember well.

And tomorrow off to Tucson where I get to hang out with my Mom and little younger

brother for a few days (and get a physical...lame). 

I have to say, still, that I am grateful for the few hours each week that I get to spend with my 

sister and my niece, as well as with the sister that I live with. Highlights of my week.

My Brother Is Marrrrrrrried!!!!

Oh boy, I love these two! :)

I Need a Vacation.

Wow, did you realize that the year of 2010 is gone (I did)! I also realize that it has been a whole month since I wrote anything, so I figured I would write about....well....life.

What has happened since you last heard from me? Well, not much.

I really liked a boy, a lot, and he and I got along so well, but then I realized that he had completely lied to me about everything he was and was trying to be. Broke my heart a little. Maybe he and I will still be friends. Maybe not.

I permed my hair:

I got to talk to my friend, Macaulay for a little bit on Christmas Eve. I was so nervous, and definitely shed a tear or two...mixed feelings for sure, happy to talk, sad to say goodbye [again].
My little sister got engaged. Lisa apologized like it was terrible that my little sister would be getting married before I will...I reassured her that I would be fine.
My work schedule has been insane. I have slept very few hours in the last month, at least comparatively. Some days I don't work at all, while other days I work 20 of the 24 hours in the day (not really my favorite by a long stretch).
I almost lost 1/3 of my pinky because, while my keys were in my house door, my pinky was shut in my locked car door....had to rip it out. OUCH!
I have tried to keep contact with a lot of people, but I feel like they don't care anymore, since I live in Arizona now, so I just have eventually almost stopped trying. I am a little tired of trying so hard and loving so much when I really don't feel much love from most people (Depressing, I think so...but I had a friend that said, when I moved to Arizona, that I was "basically out of her life." Broke my heart). 
All in all, my 2010 was pretty great, mostly ups with a number of downs, but I'm doing my best, living each day as best as I can.

A Tribute

 

Macaulay Jacob Wilson, aka My Missionary

I have not shared this picture with many people, but many would say

that it looks like a postcard.

I agree :)

Anyway, why blog on this day, December the second, 2010? Well I have my reasons :)

Ok...so exactly 6 months ago my best friend, Macaulay, left on a mission.

He is serving in the Toronto, Canada West mission.

I was always told that the first 6 months are the slowest

and the hardest...but dang did they fly by.

He has learned and grown so much out there, I don't think I can

keep up! Holy Smokes. 

Anyway, I'm grateful that he is out serving a mission, he is doing 

the Lord's work! I am very proud of him. What a wonderful 

guy! November 21st marked the year mark from when we

started dating up there at BYU. It's been a great year, 

and even a wonderful 6 months.

I've seen a lot of girls send out missionaries...and I've seen a lot

of heart ache...I, however, am doing well! Excelling even! 

Ok...let's get real. I do miss him, every day at least a little,

But I don't live my life wishing he was here...I try to live my life to the 

fullest every day. Life is worth it!

A Day of Thanks

So once in every year we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.
~Arthur Guiterman

I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I can't explain any of it really, but I will say a few words about each thing. Forgive my lack of eloquence, but I will try.

Firstly, I am immensely grateful for my family. Sometimes we don't get along and sometimes we fight, but we really do love each other. My parents are very loving and care about me a lot. I love them a lot. I've been very blessed with having them as my parents. My siblings all seem pretty protective of me, but I love them for it. All of them like to threaten boys that I like...or at least talk to each other about what they could do. It's great fun.

 

I have also been blessed in my life with some amazing friends. I have a few friends that I've had for a long time and I still talk to them almost every day! I love that. I haven't had many friends in my life that have stuck around for long, maybe because I'm not cool...or they just don't care enough, but here are some of my best friends ever. I love you guys!

 

This is Nichole. If you've read my blog, you know her.

Macaulay Wilson...the best friend I have EVER had :)

He is on a mission in Canada now...I miss him..

A LOT!

Dang, what a guy!

Rachel, Kaylin and I became great friends while we were RAs.

It's been a rough road with us, but I still love them.

We are great friends! :)

Can't believe Rachel is gettin' hitched soon!

 

Kiley and Ashley. These two girls were on my floor, and

I'm pretty sure they're the only ones that liked me.

I love chatting with these girls and staying

up 'til the wee hours of the morning with them. 

All-in-all, I love these girls.

[Kiley, Thanksgiving wasn't the same without you!]

My lovely RAs. I love them so much! I miss you ladies! :)

Michele, good luck on your mission! I'll miss you!!!

Jenn, I'm glad we still talk sometimes! :)

This summer I was blessed to be a CA in Helaman Halls.

I loved being with these people, they influenced

me a lot. I only actually still talk to a few of them, but

I am still incredibly grateful  for them all!

I am thankful for so much more. I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I'm grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am grateful for all of the of the knowledge and experiences I've been blessed with in my life. I am grateful for a great job that I like most of the time. I'm grateful for school and for the knowledge I gain from going there. I am grateful for everyone that I talk to on a daily, or even weekly basis. You are all amazing. I am really lucky and blessed. I can't find words enough to express it. Thanks to everyone that influences me!

"Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude, the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to exist in our lives." Terry Lynn Taylor